Apie metalistus

Senas, bet geras (šiandien prisiminiau ir susiradau).  Angliškai, nes tingiu verst, be to, taip gerai neskambėtų.

This is the situation: There is a beautiful princess trapped in a
castle guarded by a dragon. Here is the end of the story with different kind of
metalheads as knights.

* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the
dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions,
violins,flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the
dancing). Then all leave…….. without the princess.

* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty
axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her
belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the
castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her.
Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in
front of the castle,fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again,
slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time,
burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he
could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his
body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26
minutes.The dragon killsn himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’
bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of
the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the ‘HEAVY METAL’ protagonist.

* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance
and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make up and tries to paint the castle in a
beautiful pink colour.

* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to
fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

~ by Donatas on 2008-04-30 12:18.